apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize