I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
