Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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