Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
