I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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