Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
