He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
sarcasm needs its own font
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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