this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
