i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I love having hate sex.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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