I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
do herpes really smell.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I think people are normalizing furries
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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