Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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