i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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