Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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