Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
