omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
