K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
