He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
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Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
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Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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