tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
