just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
