was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
