fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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