he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
