yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
