Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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