Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
What a dumb baby whore.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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