Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
