Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
