I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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