shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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