You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
vagina is talking i cant
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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