Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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