I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
