Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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