I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Randomize
