I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We left an ass print on the piano.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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