Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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