I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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