I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
