I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
