There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
