gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
i think my cat just said my name.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
