Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
