Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
