drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
