im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
