ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
