Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
There's even glitter on my cock...
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