Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.