the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
19 People Confess The Craziest Sex Act They’ve Ever Participated In
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.