Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
