I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
