Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
