i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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