He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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