Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
even my farts smell like vagina
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
