wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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