so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
